Going along to get along

We often hear the words: "There are doors closing and opening".

We need or rather want to get out of a rut to explore all that life has to offer. From the political to the emotional as well as to the spiritual, many find it imperative to fall in and go with the flow when it comes to sudden changes of life that they experience.They want to conform to the general expectation so as to not rock the boat,nor to disrupt or endanger the status quo for fear of security or belonging.

When changes have been brewing for some time but have suddenly been triggered by a minor incident which has blown over, many tend to stay contented without wanting to change the conditions.

Talk and thought may have made us aware of our need to change our mindset.

What is Mindset?

Mindset is an established set of attitudes held by someone. In simple terms it is a way of thinking, a frame of mind. 

Carol Dweck's work on Mindsets suggests that there are two specific types of mindsets - Growth and Fixed. There can also be a mix of both.

                                           

 A Growth Mindset begins from the central premise that intelligence,talent and ability are open to change.They may go up or down. A Fixed Mindset begins with the belief that intelligence,  talent and ability are static. You are born with what you are given and it cannot change or be changed. In other words you are pre-destined. This is particularly applicable to young people and often to students in their formative years.

Learners often with a fixed mindset try to succeed, to do well,to pass examinations but are put off by the ensuing obstacles.They often try to avoid challenges and see mistakes and failure as dangerous and threatening. Thus they learn less.

The process of changing a Fixed Mindset to a Growth Mindset is not rocket science. It is what is termed in person centred counselling, as turn on one's "self worth". It means having the ability to focus on the task ahead and by trial and error search and find a method which works.They say if it works for you and if you keep at it in the foreseeable future you will notice a subtle shift in perception. It shows that the decisions you have taken and the effort you have put in,works in the end.

This change is vividly seen in Sports personalities willing themselves to win against all odds against, through sheer will power and determination.

Of course, there are other strategies,activities or techniques which can be used to make one cultivate  and sustain a Growth Mindset. Among these are a few techniques. They are as follows:

1. Changing how you perceive or respond to mistakes.

2. Giving feedback towards effort

3. Thinking about the way we think through problems.

4. Creating challenges and meeting them head on.

Destiny is influenced not only by perception, or by one's effort and by resilience among others.

To attribute failure to fate or predestination, or vibrations of your aura, is a simple escape of reality.

Nothing remains the same, nothing is preordained as we all know that change is part and parcel of living.

Why do people often give up and accept fate?

When conditions are ideal for people to make progress in career progression, some give up hope, others want to remain calm and feel it not right to rock the boat, still others want to go along to get along. They do not visualise their action as undoubtedly their right to probe and pry thereby creating a drama,even when they feel the conditions are not right.

What can we say to people with this mindset?

Achievement in life is a two way street. Life satisfaction and happiness is not an easy answer. They are undoubtedly difficult to answer, but they are issues which affect each of us in different ways. Are there reliable comparisons of well-being of mankind across time and space that can give us clues regarding what helps us to strive and achieve happiness?

These questions often crop up and will come up time and again?

Victor Cherubim